i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are all done wearing pants today
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
