so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
