Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
