Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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