I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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