just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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