I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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