i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize