You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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