i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
