were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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