some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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