My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
