Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
