This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
