At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
