its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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