dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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