dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize