I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i need some magic done to my vagina
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
