i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize