Small penises have feelings too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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