eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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