It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i out mim tonsoeep
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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