We're facebook friends in real life
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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