So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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