I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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