ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
