i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Bring me that man meat
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
