I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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