dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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