How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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