it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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