I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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