You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
