ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize