No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
