"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
