Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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