Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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