so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
