Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
