she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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