a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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