if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
