Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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