Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
