I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
