i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize