Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
