i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
