I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
