I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
