I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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