Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
