Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
