What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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