Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
