i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
