Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
