Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
