I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
