If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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