it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
